Fall in Southern California

So I'm not trying to rub anything in, because given the opportunity I would love to be bundled up in a warm sweater in a big comfy chair with a hot cup of tea and a book watching the leaves fall and hearing the drizzle of rain outside. Honestly, the cool crisp air of fall is sounding mighty appealing right now. The only time I get to be bundled up in a blanket these days is in my ridiculously over-air conditioned office.

The weather here has made a nearly imperceptible shift to cooler mornings and nights, but the days continue to range between very warm (26/75 C/F) to hot (28+/80+). Our longest rain shower (pictured below) lasted 30 min, and it is the only rain we've received since it first rained shortly after we arrived (ironically, San Diegans deal with rain much like Victorians deal with snow - incredulous disbelief and then terror at how to drive/walk/avoid it, bordering on the dangerous!). I think I can also count the number of "cloudy" days we've had since arriving on one hand, and again, those only lasted half a day at most. I know it's hard to complain about eternal summer, but after living in Uganda, we were excited about a return to seasons on moving back to North America. So first we moved to Victoria, land of serious spring, lukewarm summer and fall (winter was there somewhere, but it melted within an hour), and now we live in a desert.


Nevertheless, we try to do what we can with what we're given, so this last weekend we took a half-day break from work and went hiking in Torrey Pines with my coworker, Alicia.

While I seem to be doing a good job of complaining about beautiful sunny weather, for those of you who need a break from the northern blah's, our door is always open!

But for now it's time to hit the sack. Brent went to pick up an Iraqi family from the airport last night and then spent all night in the emergency room as the father needed immediate treatment and in the process the doctors discovered a blood clot in his lung. Needless to say, coming home at 7:30am and only sleeping for 3hrs before heading back to the hospital and then the office has made him one very tired boy. My last couple nights of 10-11pm returns from the office (more interviewing in French) seem positively civilized in comparison!
So, till next time, please enjoy the leaves, rain and cold for me, and if that's not your cup of tea, let us know when you're planning your vacation here!

Bonne soir,
Jen, Brent and now...the peach!

Ultrasound #2!

Just a quick update on our first trimester ultra-screen - good news!
From the nucal translucency, nasal bone and blood tests everything looks normal, and our risk for Down Syndrome and Trisomy 18/13 both dropped considerably!



Another highlight for Brent and I was to watch our baby sliding up and down the uterus walls, convulsing in hiccups! Apparently they are very very common in utero. I hope they weren't annoying the little one too much, but its parents found them equally adorable and hilarious!

Since that all went well, I/we need to hit the hay. I thought I would finally post some photos though. Here are photos of my belly at 8 and 12 weeks (can you tell which is bigger?) and the ultrasound images from today. The spinal and different-looking head with fist shot are in 3-D imaging. I asked the technician about it today and he was very proud to tell me that 3/4-D ultrasounds had been developed at UCSD by the radiologist reviewing my test results today! He said they were not done for aesthetic purposes though, only if a medical need was identified... then proceeded a few minutes later to switch our equipment and image to 3-D! Apparently it doesn't really look that amazing until the third trimester when you can see the whole face and body in perfect detail.

Love from J, k & B.

Thanksgiving a deux

Just a quick note to wish friends and family north of the border (or Canadians in other territorial borders) a very Happy Thanksgiving!

The kiwi and I are enjoying the "holiday" in the apartment eating a bowl of veggie chili and Brent's homemade cornbread while I take a brief hiatus from my never-ending backlog of writing. Brent, on the other hand, flew to San Francisco this morning to schmooze it up at a $1000-a-plate fundraising and awards dinner. One of his Case Managers, Amina, won the award this year, so she invited Brent, the other Case Managers and she even yours truly to the event! Unfortunately, IRC wasn't inclined to fork over the $1000 for my seat as well as a plane ticket to get me there ;-) Well, I hope they have fun!

Despite the lack of family or turkey dinner on my Thanksgiving, I have had a lot to be thankful for lately. Last week I told my supervisors at the IPJ about my pregnancy and then took one of them aside to let her know that I was also interested in working at the IPJ in the future. To my surprise, she told me that she was happy to hear that, as she liked my work, knew I was staying in San Diego and had already been dropping my name around the institute! So that's very encouraging news! However, the IPJ is in the process of hiring a new Exec Director, and has only recently hired a new Senior Program Officer (a Harvard law grad and Human Rights Watch's French West Africa correspondent), so it will likely take them a little while to get those two people settled in and to decide in which direction they would like the institute to go. Nevertheless, if I keep my foot in the door, that could mean some great opportunities in the future! YAY!

Other than that, it is also time to ask all of the people who have written to us lately, for a three week break before I will be able to reply. The final 3 weeks of this position are going to be absolutely crazy as we try to meet a string of final deadlines. After November 7th, however, (provided our immigration hearing on Nov 6th goes well) my life should quieten down immensely (at least until I get work again) and I'll be able to be much better about keeping in touch.

However, impending deadlines and way too much work did not stop the IPJ from taking the PeaceMakers, writers and a film crew to Sea World this weekend! Despite the absurd commercialism (SeaWorld is now owned by Anhauser Busch) and the moral quandaries I have with animals being held in captivity performing tricks for humans, it was a lot of fun! I felt 7 years old again.

Ok, as always, there is lots more to say, but I should get back to work! I'll probably try to write quickly again later in the week after our second ultrasound :-)

Enjoy your turkey, tofurkey, or at least the pumpkin pie!

p.s. yes, as the photos indicate, it's still in the high 20's to low 30's here. Which is great until we start missing fall.

Where (and how) to bring our baby into the world

Ok, back to the kiwi (Brent's parents felt this was a good metaphor for this week as a kiwi is small, fuzzy, sweet, and "smiles on the inside." Brent however, would like to make clear that it does not refer to any parentage from New Zealand)...

One of the biggest decisions we had to make once we found out that I had a baby in me was how and where to get it out (at the appropriate time of course). This led us on a complicated journey through the unfamiliar (and in my opinion, crazy) US medical system, as well as the gamut of available modern medical options. We had to choose who we wanted to deliver our baby (midwife, OB-GYN, large practice, small practice, individual, team, etc) and where. Did we want a home birth, a private birth center, a hospital (and if so, which hospital), or somewhere in between?

Luckily, Brent's health care plan through IRC (which we pay a small fortune for) allowed us a lot of choice and for the entire birthing experience, we will likely only have to pay one $20 co-payment! So it came down to choosing, not only with whom and where we wanted to have this baby, but we realized we also had to decide how. What was our childbirth "philosophy?" How did we feel about natural childbirth or pain medication or episiotomies or induction or what would happen to the baby in the moments after it was born? (Trust me, the list goes on and on...)

Interestingly, as we learned more some of our opinions solidified while others became more flexible. As any midwife, doctor or mother will tell you, when and how a baby is born seems really to be up to the baby. But within that necessary "wait and see what happens" range, we realised that if possible, we would like a natural birth experience, but that being our first child, we would also like the reassurance of the best medical expertise and equipment should anything from pain medication to a C-section or NICU III (neo-natal infant care unit level 3) be necessary.

We found a close-to-ideal solution in the University of California San Diego's Birth Center. The birth center is located within the UCSD Medical Center, which is the regional hospital for SD county. This means a homey, holistic birth center is on one floor, while state-of-the-art medical equipment and 17 of the US' top 100 doctors are on the next floor. The hospital is also only 2 miles from our house in the center of Hillcrest, perfect for visitors :-)

As long as we have an uncomplicated pregnancy, we will be able to deliver in one of the birth center's four birthing suites: big spacious rooms with tubs and showers and birthing balls, etc. to help with labor. The biggest benefit to the birth center in our eyes is the degree of control it provides for the mother (and father). We toured two other hospitals and they all had a fairly rigid set of policies and procedures regarding what would happen when you arrived at the hospital and throughout the birth, who could visit and when, who could be in the room during labor, what the husband was and wasn't allowed to do, etc. While touring both the regular labor and delivery suites and the birth center at UCSD, the staff made it clear that in the LDR (labor delivery and recover) area, you had to follow the rules. But if you wanted to make your own decisions, go to the birth center (BC).

While that sounds great to us, we do realize that there are a lot of scenarios where we may not have that choice, or where our options direct us away from the birth center. If our pregnancy has complications before the birth we won't be able to deliver at the BC. If our pregnancy has complications during birth, we will be transferred out of the BC, but our midwife will come with us, and assist the OB-GYN. If I decide I want an epidural (they do do injection pain meds in the BC if you want them), they need to move us out of the BC for increased monitoring, though again the midwife will continue to provide our care. And, (the one that worries me the most, as I feel I could rationalize the others) if the birth centre happens to be full we may have to deliver in LDR, though they will ask to move a woman who has already given birth out of a BC room into a special LDR post-recovery room if it will allow someone coming in to deliver in the BC.

The only "downside" to the birth center (besides possibly finding it full) is that we don't get to choose who delivers our baby. Eleven UCSD midwives work at the BC on 12hr shifts. This means that while I've been seeing the same 2-3 midwives for my prenatal care, I could have any of the 11 be there for the birth. Not that that is really that different for an OB-GYN. Your doctor could be away or sick and then you get a stranger. Or, even if he/she is around, they often only show up for the 30min-4hr pushing phase, and the rest of your 12+ hour care is done by nurses you've never met (not hacking nurses Mike, nurses are wonderful!). So, I think it's a compromise we're willing to make.

Most of all I like the midwifery philosophy that birth is a normal, natural process that our bodies know how to do. Sure things can go awry, and maybe they will, but I feel a lot less scared going in to 12-72hrs of unfamiliar discomfort/pain with someone reassuring me that my body can do this. Which reminds me, another bonus of the BC is that it has a volunteer doula program. A doula is a birth coach. She does not get involved with any of the medical side of things, but provides constant moral and logistical support for the mother and her support person/people (e.g. massage, encouragement, or going to get food for the dad so he doesn't have to leave the laboring woman). Equally importantly, she stays with you for the entire duration of the labor, no matter how long it takes (and I thought spending 3-5hrs at a hospital with a sexual assault survivor was an involved volunteer position!). You can hire a professional doula, but this is a great opportunity to have someone in addition to Brent, Mom and my personal masseuse (and wonderful sister) Lindsay on hand if needed, without an additional expense.

Ok, well I'm sure I could go on and on, but this post is getting novel-length! And the kiwi is hungry... a lunch of mac and cheeze (Annie's organic) and chocolate chip pancakes is sounding good!

xoxoxo
J,B &k

One of those days...

And now for something unrelated to the little Kiwi.

Yesterday I had one of those days. The days when you're up at the crack of dawn because your mind won't stay quiet long enough for you to drift back to the precious dreamland you are longing for, and by the time your head finally hits the pillow that night your exhaustion is manifesting as physical pain throughout your body. Yes, one of those days.

I have been busy for weeks now, but since last Monday it has really been non-stop. This weekend I tried to relax with some coworkers on Friday night, but then spent the entire weekend indoors (despite Brent leaving me to go enjoy the gorgeous 27/78 degree weather on the beach!) typing on my loaned computer. I had my second deadline yesterday, and as usual, it required evenings and weekends in addition to our M-F work week to complete. So I arrived yesterday morning at work, disappointed to learn that we had a meeting scheduled for the morning (the deadline is at the end of the day). Working through lunch I pushed to finish the last of the writing and begin editing.

In the middle of the afternoon, just as I was starting to make progress, in to our office burst the director of the MBA program (our big beautiful office [I'll post photos of our balcony and stunning view later] is upstairs in their larger set of offices, rather than downstairs with the IPJ staff). She was demanding to know if we had received visitors that afternoon. No, we don't often have visitors. Then out pours an incredible story of how three staff members have just been robbed while in the office! They had gone to a meeting in a small office at the front entrance but closed the door. The two work study students who normally sit at the front desk had both left for about 30min (sounds suspicious to me!). The thief had brazenly come in through the main door and proceeded to go into the various private offices, look under their desks, retrieve their purses, remove only the cash from their wallets, replace everything and then leave!

However, we do not think he got away undetected! One of the other Peace Writers and I were sitting at our desks at the time, with both of our office doors closed (we sit in a large communal office with two entrances). As we were working, the far door opened just a crack. We called out to the person to ask if we could help them. A man opened the door about 6 inches and quickly asked if "Leah" (or some short woman's name beginning with L) had passed by. We said no, no one had been in there. He quickly shut the door and left. Once we found out about the theft we asked the other staff about him. He had come right when the theft had occurred, no one with a name starting with L works at the MBA office, and no one recognized his description as anyone that should have been there. Also, the fact that he used our other door meant he had moved through the whole office before reaching that door, which is where most of the thefts occurred. So, Bianca and I have become number 1 witnesses! Unfortunately, after my experience with campus security following the theft of my laptop I have little to no faith that anything will be done about this, even though over $400 was stolen.

Following all that drama, I had to keep writing late and eat dinner at my desk. I was still at the office because that night my Woman Peace Maker, Sylvie, had her filming session. This is a three hour interview from 7-10pm conducted by our Exec Director, Dee, on camera. I was reluctant to stay for such a late night especially after a deadline, but I wanted to support Sylvie and I thought I would just be sitting in a plush chair watching the interview. How wrong I was! After make-up and prepping all the equipment, Dee started asking the first few questions. English is Sylvie's fourth or fifth language, and while she is understandable, she occasionally misuses words, and the flow is often halting as she searches for words she doesn't know. Completely understandable for all of us that have tried to learn other languages! But for the film crew, this was disturbing their search for eloquent, flowing sound bites. So they stopped and asked if we could try the same answer in French. None of them speak French so they began quizzing me on how it sounded - how was the content? Did it flow? Was it more articulate? Before I knew it, they had decided to conduct the whole interview in French! I was told to switch places with Dee and suddenly I was conducting the 3 HOUR interview IN FRENCH!!!

Needless to say, by the time Brent came to pick my up at 10pm my brain was a pile of french mush. There had also been some emotional parts to the interview, and at one point Sylvie had broken down. Nevertheless, after she composed herself, she decided that she wanted to continue for the remaining hour. All in all I think it was a good interview, but because of the language and time, I have already been told that they would like one and possibly two more interviews with her - and once again, I'll be conducting the interview, at night, in French!

By the time I got into bed last night I think my body was ready to sleep for a week. Is it really only Tuesday?! I'm seriously considering putting me head down on my desk for a 20min catnap!

Well, after all that 'feeling sorry for myself' I'm sure you'll be happy to just hear about the Kiwi again ;-)

Hope you're all well,
From a sleepy Jen & Kiwi (and Brenty too)

Growing

Greetings friends,

This has been a wonderful week. Sharing our pregnancy news has brought a flood of well wishes from friends and relatives in over half a dozen countries. While it certainly has its drawbacks, technology does have its advantages as well! We now have small established communities of friends and coworkers in San Diego, for which we are very grateful, but there's nothing like the familiar voices of friends and family that we are currently still far from. It's a nice reminder too that the well wishes aren't just for Brent and I, but that they represent a lot of people our baby will meet during her or his lifetime, and that these people are already wishing her (or him) health and love as she or he grows.

And speaking of growing... While in many ways I feel that we just started this crazy journey, supposedly I'm already down to the last two weeks of my first trimester. • According to the "experts" our baby is now 2 to 3 inches long (though they failed to give us a fruit analogy this week)! More importantly, it has graduated from being tadpole-esque to finally looking like a miniature person. The baby's face has formed, and it now has fingers, toes, toenails, and tooth buds, and its mouth can actually suck and swallow.

As for my growth, that's continuing as well! Apparently I won't "pop" (i.e. the bump that you can no longer suck in) for a few more weeks yet, but some rearranging of my organs and water retention has contributed to giving me a more rounded belly than I am used to! I already find myself gravitating towards my stretch or low rider jeans and longer, looser tops. I purchased a few maternity clothes items when my mom was here visiting, but I'm realizing that really, not much of my current wardrobe is going to fit me in a couple months!

Quite a few of you had asked about how I have been feeling (very sweet of you), with encouraging words that the morning sickness of the first trimester would soon end. Actually, I'm very relieved to report that I have not been sick once (knock on wood)! That's not to say I've been feeling fabulous the whole time, but luckily my queasiness has only been in relation to strong smells (such as the women I ride to work with's perfume), and some meals that suddenly seem completely unappetizing. Brent has taken to suggesting dinner, and then being wonderfully flexible with my humming and hawing until I figure out what my body is telling me I can/should eat.

The past couple of months has also involved a very steep learning curve to learn about what I should be putting on and in my body, and what I should be avoiding. These include the stricter rules about substances known to cause birth defects, but Brent and I are also trying to include the much larger list of "questionable" substances that are banned or discouraged due to studies and regulations in other countries.

So for those of you that are looking to get pregnant in the future, here's a glimpse of what you can choose to/not to alter:

Food - No booze, second-hand cigarette smoke, unpasteurized cheese (goat's cheese, many delicious soft cheeses, and all smelly cheese), sushi (unless cooked), deli meats (don't mind that one), caffeine, and even some herbal teas. I'm also cutting back on processed and packaged foods and trying to at least eat organic dairy (suppossedly the most important food group to go organic in, health-wise).

Beauty - In short, I had to scrap all my cleansers and creams. Some of this was doctor's warnings (Retinal, a vitamin A compound in anti-wrinkle products and some food is known to cause birth defects), and some was European studies suggesting a link between parabens and lauryl/laureth sulphates and cancer. Salicylic acid, an acne treatment found even in Aveda products is also a no-no for little embryos.
•
Exercise - I'm still trying to figure this one out. Many books/doctors seem to be advising slightly different things. Walking and swimming (at a lower intensity) seem to be encouraged all around. After that many folks suggest not engaging in impact activities (ie jumping up and down, running, racket ball) during weeks 6-10 especially, and possibly up to week 18, as there is an increase in the rate of miscarriage. Others say it's fine. Not wanting to take any chances, I've switched from running to walking for trimester 1 (and I'm trying to get to the pool), and then will get back into jogging (but only 2 miles at a time?!) for trimesters 2 and 3. Sit-ups and most other ab exercises seem to be off-limits due to having to lie on your back, or invert yourself in some way, both of which are supposedly bad for you (though I'm trying to figure out if this is only during later trimesters). I think I can still do the plank though...

Well I could go on for a while, but you get the idea. I'm sure there are a few women reading this going, what? I did such-and-such through my whole pregnancy! That seems to be the good part... babies seem to come out just fine 95% of the time, nearly regardless of what their parents partake in :-)

For now it's back to a weekend of work as I prepare for my second assignment deadline on Monday (procrastination from my job's increasing workload may bring about most of the blog entries over the next month). I hope you're all doing well, and thanks again for all your congratulatory e-mails, they've been so nice to read.

Anyone have a suggestion for a new 2-3 inch fruit analogy?

xoxo J,B & jumbo strawberry?

p.s. sorry we don't have any photos to post, most of our recent ones were lost when my laptop was stolen :-(