Sunday, December 2, 2012

A year in passing

It is incredible to watch how the passage of time alters once it becomes marked by the birth and growth of a new soul. Because to you, birth and growth now mean "meeting" and "getting to know," lifelong and life changing activities that necessarily shift how I see and interact with my world.

A day is never a day, a week never a week, a month never simply the waxing and waning of a moon, again.  And now a year has passed and our life has changed again, over and over for every minute of the last 365 days.

This time his name is N and he is beautiful. Really beautiful. All parents should feel this about their children and we are no exception. But he really is. Twinkling eyes. Mischievous grin. Easy, belly jiggling laughter. Careening, perpetual motion in pursuit of his boundless curiosity. Everything is or can become a game. Unless he's sleepy, then he comes to lay his head on your lap, asking you to hold him close.

He has made B and I better parents and allowed T to become a big sister, something that has deepened and challenged her, and allowed her to fall in love with him as much as we have. Which is, of course, the best of all. After T I joined so many first time parents awaiting their second, terrified that the love we felt at her birth could certainly only be felt once a lifetime. But amidst the intensity of N's  arrival, that familiar emotion rose equal and unhindered, threatening to overwhelm my concern for his agonizing delay of breath. Then when he responded to my pleas, it surged with the swell of gratitude, overwhelming me once again with the euphoria of first love.

I may not have much (any) time to write a blog or hear myself think, but I cannot imagine life smaller than it is with our laughing, crying, working, exploring, running, cuddling, traveling, loving family of four. Thank you my beautiful boy for making us complete.