Congratulations! It's a...

Hello everyone,

Well, here's the post some of you have been waiting for! (And no, we're not just going to come out and announce it right away, hee hee ;-)

(Left: me at 18 weeks)

The lead up to the ultrasound yesterday was an interesting process. Brent and I started talking about what sort of family we'd like to have a few years ago. It included a veritable gaggle of both girls and boys, biological and adopted (though don't go thinking Brangelina yet). That image still holds true in many respects, especially with regards to sex. But when we got pregnant we realized that both of us were secretly hoping our first child would be a girl. So were both sets of grandparents! But as the day when we hoped to find out grew closer, we started considering what if we are having a boy? Brent was a lot better at relaxing his hopes to accept either sex, hoping most of all for a healthy baby. I found it a bit more difficult (though of course having a healthy baby was the primary concern!). As yesterday grew closer, I thought about my two adorable nephews, Keenan and Hux, how wonderful Brent must have been as a little boy and how much I loved growing up with older brothers. I started imagining what it would be like to have a little baby boy, name him, play with him etc. And I can finally say that when we went into the appointment yesterday I was genuinely excited about having a boy as our first born.

The exam itself was a bit of a let-down. Rather than watching and learning about the baby as we'd done during previous ultrasounds, this appointment had so much for the radiologist to check that he kept the screen turned toward him and just went from measurement to measurement. Even though Brent could see the screen he said he rarely knew what he was looking at. As the time went on, I got worried that maybe the radiologist didn't know that we wanted to know the sex so he might not be looking for it, so I interrupted him to clarify that if possible, we'd love to know. He said ok, but then kept fairly quiet for the rest of the exam, evidently frustrated that our baby's head was stubbornly nestled down in my pelvis (I think it was the baby's way of accommodating what WE wanted to know by sticking its bum up in the air ;-).

Finally, 3/4 of the way through the appointment he turned to me and asked if I had any feelings about what we were having. I didn't want to say girl in case I was wrong. I finally admitted, most often a girl, but sometimes a boy too. Then he said, "If you were having a boy, what would you name him?" I jerked up, "We're having a boy?!" The radiologist smiled and just repeated the question. We flubbed around telling him we had lists but... He waited patiently then finally said, "You're having a girl." I jumped up and grabbed his arm unable to tell if he was still joking. "Really? A girl? Are you serious?!" The poor guy! He finally showed us "proof" on an ultrasound (Right: our cute baby's bottom from below with an arrow pointing to her lack of penis) just so that I would finally believe him.

So while I'm happy to say that we really would have been happy having a boy first, we're ecstatic that we're having a daughter! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now comes the very difficult task of choosing a name... But as Brent says, at least we only have to choose one (for now)!

Looking forward to your reactions :-)

Jen, Brent, and our cantelopette

Belly update

Hello again,

Trying to finish up my last few narratives, I'm facing constant distraction from the web's millions of baby websites. After weeks of focusing on work, my tummy and a long-awaited release from deadline pressure has turned my brain to baby-land mush.

Pregnancy, impending childbirth and then the even larger future responsibilities of parenthood sure do come with an array of adjustments! This month the physical side has gotten more interesting. My body is morphing in ways it has never done in its past 29 years. I'll save you most of the details to prevent too many "Too much information!" comments. Save to say that itchiness is a major factor!

And then there's my tummy. It's definitely grown (I'm in around 70% maternity wear now), but its size keeps changing! Brent and I marvel as it does this daily growing and mysterious nightly shrinking routine. I seem to be waking up with close to a flat stomach (well, its only really flat when I lie on my back, but even standing it's just a lower paunch) which then expands over the course of the day into a serious Buddha-worthy belly by nightfall! And it's not giggly like I've simply had too many deserts and not enough gym, you could practically bounce pennies off it (maybe we'll try that tonight). What's the deal? A one day "pop" would be fine, but as I wake up the next morning excited to show off my finally obviously pregnant bump I look and it's gone! Here's the photos to prove it (and no, I'm not just sticking my stomach out in the second one, that's relaxed!):





I have my 4 month prenatal appointment this afternoon with a new midwife (I'm trying to switch between them so we can meet all 11 before Birth Day), so I'll have to tell you how that goes a little later (I'll try to remember to ask her about the growing/shrinking routine). But next week is the big news, we hope. On Tuesday morning we go for our 18-20 week ultrasound. I feel like we've been spoiled with 2 ultrasounds so far but I am not about to turn down another opportunity to see our little one! This one is a big deal for doctors to make sure that everything is growing correctly (no third eye, arm, etc), but it's also a big deal for us (in addition to our hopes that everything is in fact growing right!) as we will finally have an opportunity to HOPEFULLY learn whether we're having a girl or a boy! Of course this depends most of all on whether the baby cooperates. But if so, we're hoping that the radiologist is skilled enough to make out the distinction, as we're having the ultrasound at the earlier end of the range.

Now while we're incredibly excited to find out, and we're making no secret that we want to know early, I should warn you that we've decided to sit on the news a little while before we share it. I'm sure we'll have feelings about either sex and we'd just like to process those alone a bit before we make it public. Sorry for the wait, but the bonus may be that when we're ready to let the sex be known we may have a name to go with it!

In the hopes of avoiding a sea of highly gendered clothing, toys and accessories that are so ubiquitous in the baby market that you are practically forced to get something that screams GIRL or BOY, we considered waiting to tell everyone the sex until after any potential baby shower (my sister Lindsay keeps hinting at something in Victoria in early April. I don't know - ask her!). However, as many of you have been sweet enough to hint at baby gifts, which we would greatly appreciate (especially used and hand-me-downs as we seem far from that trusty barrage from family and friends who've had children being all the way down here), maybe it's just better if we make a general request? As you all know us, we hope you will understand our desire to raise a child with some independence from the pink-flowers-dolls and blue-trucks-tools dichotomy. That doesn't mean pink, blue, dolls and trucks are banned, just that we'd like to encourage our little girl to play with trucks and tools if she wants (who knows, maybe her vocation will be as a structural engineer), and our little boy to explore his passion for art, dance and drama (in case he's inherited a long lost ballet gene that neither Brent nor I were blessed with). Hmm... watch me say all this and then buy the first frilly princess dress I see when we have a girl or the cutest little fireman outfit for our son's first Halloween costume... ;-)

Nevertheless, we do appreciate it :-) Our only other request is for anything made from organic, hemp or bamboo fabric (or again, used clothing, blankets, etc are great, as repeated washes often remove most of the chemicals) so that our little one can focus on filtering the most polluted air in the US rather than also being swaddled in the world's most chemical intensive crop (dear sweet cotton) as well :-) Did any of you doubt what hippie parents we were going to be? Hee hee...

Well that's all for me for now. Our little 'something-larger-than-an-apple' has a hankering for sushi tonight!

Love from B, me and the tum.

A "relaxing" vacation to Sequoia National Park

It started with a Facebook ad: an autumn scene in the mountains with a cosy luxury log cabin to stay in. It was about 85 degrees in my sun-drenched office in late October, and as thousands of snow birds started their migration south, all I wanted was to snuggle up by a log fire and drink hot cocoa with the cold winds of fall howling outside. I clicked on the ad (which I never do) and an hour and a few phone calls later, Brent and I were headed for a five day vacation in Sequoia National Park with two nights at the Wuksachi Lodge in the central eastern mountains of California.

For weeks Brent and I anticipated this much-needed break from our hectic work schedules and the beautiful but monotonous heat of San Diego. So two days after our much anticipated immigration hearing and a day after I finished my 10 week, 50-60hr/week contract at IPJ (lately Brent's schedule hadn't been much better), we were very ready for the 7hr journey north.

Our troubles began before we even got on the road. In sending our car in for a pre-trip lube-oil-filter the shop investigated our annoying 'check engine' light and suggested we get the spark plugs replaced. This took $120 and 2/3 of our first day. Then, as we finally packed the car at 3pm Brent got a call from the hospital. An Iraqi refugee who has been in the hospital since he arrived 3 weeks ago was finally being discharged. His case manager was not answering her phone, so Brent had to deal with it. So, off to the hospital we go to get the family a taxi. Once the family realized we weren't going to drive them home (a 1.5hr round trip) they decided to get a friend to pick them up. Another hour gone.

Hitting LA in rush hour was unavoidable at that point, so we spent the next 2-3 hours crawling through LA's freeways, stopping at an In-N-Out Burger for what we'd been told was a FABULOUS veggie burger only to be informed once inside that their veggie burger was simply their regular burger minus the meat. I reluctantly agreed. Brent ordered their other veggie option - a "grill cheese sandwich" - and was given their burger with cheese and no meat. At least the fries and chocolate shake were yummy while going down, but regretted a few hours later.

Our biggest excitement of the evening however, was Brent sitting in the parking lot of the In-N-Out, clad in shorts, a thin T-shirt and sandals, realizing that he had forgotten ALL of his clothes! We both agreed he'd "pulled a Jen." ;-)

We drove as far north as we could then spent that night in a motel as our last daylight hours (useful for setting up our tent) were spent in LA traffic.

The next morning we set off again, making a long pit-stop at a large outlet mall to buy Brent some warm clothes.

We finally reached the park entrance at around 4:30pm Sunday night. We had only booked Monday and Tuesday nights at the lodge and were planning on camping. But seeing as it was almost dusk we thought we could try camping, or simply see if we could tack on an extra night at Wuksachi. We paid our fees and entered the park, only to be greeted by a sign that reminded us that there was no fuel inside the park. Our tank was 2/3 full, but the 3hr round trip to the lodge, plus driving around the park gave us reason to pause. Brent erred on the side of caution and we headed the 5 miles back into the village of Three Rivers (pop. <100)>

By Monday morning we were desperate to get into the park. What had planned on being a 4-5 day vacation in the mountains had now shrunk to two. As we approached the gate again we were told that chains were now REQUIRED at mile 14. The Lodge was at mile 23. We looked in dismay at our sports tires (NOT all-terrain) and eventually succumbed to the fact that we would have to turn around for yet another 10 mile trip into Three Rivers and back AND pay $30 to rent chains. Another 1/2 day gone.

FINALLY we entered the park, driving the twisting, winding roads up the mountains till we were in snow. The roads, however, were completely clear and dry. Throughout our entire trip chains were completely unnecessary! Ugh. But the scenery was beautiful. We checked in at the stunning lodge then headed back to the largest grove of Sequoias in the park. Heading out on our first trail we glanced a few feet in front of us to see a mother black bear and her cub scamper down the hill and onto our trail! No trail for us!

(the photo to the right has the two bears on the trail if you can make them out)

Our remaining days in the park can better be described in our photos. We hiked miles of trails (some with fresh bear prints) in the snow then went back to relax in the lodge with hot baths delicious meals and hot tea a plenty. It turned out to be the perfect, relaxing getaway after all!

Our journey out was luckily much less eventful than our journey in, with the exception of encountering a very large, very live tarantula on the road down the mountain and hitting complete grid-lock once we reached San Diego after a 10hr drive back. We spent an hour and a half in viewing distance of our neighbourhood!

As this post is already ridiculously long I will once again opt to wait until the next post (soon) to relate the normal stuff, like my evidently confused belly.

Love and greetings to you all!

Jen, Brent and our little apple XXx

A time of Change!

Yes, it's a shameless reference to Obama's historic victory, and the childlike hope that has swept across the vast majority of this country and the world. It's finally a good time to be in the US again!

And be here we will!!! Yesterday Brent and I went to our long-awaited immigration hearing with a suitcase full of photos, cards and paraphernalia from our four and a half years together in order to prove the legitimacy of our relationship. We had every official document we have each ever been issued, photocopies for the US citizenship and immigration folks to keep, and even our hospital papers and ultrasound photos. Brent in a suit and me in my nicest maternity wear, rushed downtown with all of our things to find parking and then navigate the huge federal building for our 10am hearing. It didn't help that the room number they gave us was WRONG, but we still arrived at 10am sharp. Unfortunately our friends Jan and Don who ironically had the same interview date and time we did quickly informed us that my name had already been called! It didn't help that our lawyer was also nowhere to be seen.

Five minutes later they called my name again and in we went, without our lawyer! We were taken into a private office by our female interviewer and asked to swear the 'I will tell the whole truth...' oath. As we sat down in our lawyer bustled, out of breath and apologizing profusely - her earlier court case had run late. Then, before we had even sat down she blurted out "So, did you hear she's pregnant?" The interviewer looked at me as Marci began asking me when the baby was due and how I was feeling. Well I don't know if that's what did it, but after being asked if I had or ever planned on engaging in the usual crimes (prostitution, terrorism or overthrowing the US government), the stamp was out and suddenly the magic word APPROVED was being stamped all over my documents! Hallelujah!

The whole thing took about 15 min, we didn't get to show her a single document or photo and we were out before our friends Jan and Don had even gone in! A little later Don was thankfully granted residency as well and so the four of us went for sushi to celebrate :-)

It was sure quite the week last week. The immigration hearing came just days after the election and was the day before my last "official" day at the IPJ (though that is where I am writing from now, one week later!). Then the following day Brent and I starting driving north for a MUCH needed celebatory/recouperation holiday in Sequoia National Park. But that will be the next post ;-)

Take care everyone, more news soon!

xox Jen, Brent and le petite pomme!

Fall in Southern California

So I'm not trying to rub anything in, because given the opportunity I would love to be bundled up in a warm sweater in a big comfy chair with a hot cup of tea and a book watching the leaves fall and hearing the drizzle of rain outside. Honestly, the cool crisp air of fall is sounding mighty appealing right now. The only time I get to be bundled up in a blanket these days is in my ridiculously over-air conditioned office.

The weather here has made a nearly imperceptible shift to cooler mornings and nights, but the days continue to range between very warm (26/75 C/F) to hot (28+/80+). Our longest rain shower (pictured below) lasted 30 min, and it is the only rain we've received since it first rained shortly after we arrived (ironically, San Diegans deal with rain much like Victorians deal with snow - incredulous disbelief and then terror at how to drive/walk/avoid it, bordering on the dangerous!). I think I can also count the number of "cloudy" days we've had since arriving on one hand, and again, those only lasted half a day at most. I know it's hard to complain about eternal summer, but after living in Uganda, we were excited about a return to seasons on moving back to North America. So first we moved to Victoria, land of serious spring, lukewarm summer and fall (winter was there somewhere, but it melted within an hour), and now we live in a desert.


Nevertheless, we try to do what we can with what we're given, so this last weekend we took a half-day break from work and went hiking in Torrey Pines with my coworker, Alicia.

While I seem to be doing a good job of complaining about beautiful sunny weather, for those of you who need a break from the northern blah's, our door is always open!

But for now it's time to hit the sack. Brent went to pick up an Iraqi family from the airport last night and then spent all night in the emergency room as the father needed immediate treatment and in the process the doctors discovered a blood clot in his lung. Needless to say, coming home at 7:30am and only sleeping for 3hrs before heading back to the hospital and then the office has made him one very tired boy. My last couple nights of 10-11pm returns from the office (more interviewing in French) seem positively civilized in comparison!
So, till next time, please enjoy the leaves, rain and cold for me, and if that's not your cup of tea, let us know when you're planning your vacation here!

Bonne soir,
Jen, Brent and now...the peach!

Ultrasound #2!

Just a quick update on our first trimester ultra-screen - good news!
From the nucal translucency, nasal bone and blood tests everything looks normal, and our risk for Down Syndrome and Trisomy 18/13 both dropped considerably!



Another highlight for Brent and I was to watch our baby sliding up and down the uterus walls, convulsing in hiccups! Apparently they are very very common in utero. I hope they weren't annoying the little one too much, but its parents found them equally adorable and hilarious!

Since that all went well, I/we need to hit the hay. I thought I would finally post some photos though. Here are photos of my belly at 8 and 12 weeks (can you tell which is bigger?) and the ultrasound images from today. The spinal and different-looking head with fist shot are in 3-D imaging. I asked the technician about it today and he was very proud to tell me that 3/4-D ultrasounds had been developed at UCSD by the radiologist reviewing my test results today! He said they were not done for aesthetic purposes though, only if a medical need was identified... then proceeded a few minutes later to switch our equipment and image to 3-D! Apparently it doesn't really look that amazing until the third trimester when you can see the whole face and body in perfect detail.

Love from J, k & B.

Thanksgiving a deux

Just a quick note to wish friends and family north of the border (or Canadians in other territorial borders) a very Happy Thanksgiving!

The kiwi and I are enjoying the "holiday" in the apartment eating a bowl of veggie chili and Brent's homemade cornbread while I take a brief hiatus from my never-ending backlog of writing. Brent, on the other hand, flew to San Francisco this morning to schmooze it up at a $1000-a-plate fundraising and awards dinner. One of his Case Managers, Amina, won the award this year, so she invited Brent, the other Case Managers and she even yours truly to the event! Unfortunately, IRC wasn't inclined to fork over the $1000 for my seat as well as a plane ticket to get me there ;-) Well, I hope they have fun!

Despite the lack of family or turkey dinner on my Thanksgiving, I have had a lot to be thankful for lately. Last week I told my supervisors at the IPJ about my pregnancy and then took one of them aside to let her know that I was also interested in working at the IPJ in the future. To my surprise, she told me that she was happy to hear that, as she liked my work, knew I was staying in San Diego and had already been dropping my name around the institute! So that's very encouraging news! However, the IPJ is in the process of hiring a new Exec Director, and has only recently hired a new Senior Program Officer (a Harvard law grad and Human Rights Watch's French West Africa correspondent), so it will likely take them a little while to get those two people settled in and to decide in which direction they would like the institute to go. Nevertheless, if I keep my foot in the door, that could mean some great opportunities in the future! YAY!

Other than that, it is also time to ask all of the people who have written to us lately, for a three week break before I will be able to reply. The final 3 weeks of this position are going to be absolutely crazy as we try to meet a string of final deadlines. After November 7th, however, (provided our immigration hearing on Nov 6th goes well) my life should quieten down immensely (at least until I get work again) and I'll be able to be much better about keeping in touch.

However, impending deadlines and way too much work did not stop the IPJ from taking the PeaceMakers, writers and a film crew to Sea World this weekend! Despite the absurd commercialism (SeaWorld is now owned by Anhauser Busch) and the moral quandaries I have with animals being held in captivity performing tricks for humans, it was a lot of fun! I felt 7 years old again.

Ok, as always, there is lots more to say, but I should get back to work! I'll probably try to write quickly again later in the week after our second ultrasound :-)

Enjoy your turkey, tofurkey, or at least the pumpkin pie!

p.s. yes, as the photos indicate, it's still in the high 20's to low 30's here. Which is great until we start missing fall.

Where (and how) to bring our baby into the world

Ok, back to the kiwi (Brent's parents felt this was a good metaphor for this week as a kiwi is small, fuzzy, sweet, and "smiles on the inside." Brent however, would like to make clear that it does not refer to any parentage from New Zealand)...

One of the biggest decisions we had to make once we found out that I had a baby in me was how and where to get it out (at the appropriate time of course). This led us on a complicated journey through the unfamiliar (and in my opinion, crazy) US medical system, as well as the gamut of available modern medical options. We had to choose who we wanted to deliver our baby (midwife, OB-GYN, large practice, small practice, individual, team, etc) and where. Did we want a home birth, a private birth center, a hospital (and if so, which hospital), or somewhere in between?

Luckily, Brent's health care plan through IRC (which we pay a small fortune for) allowed us a lot of choice and for the entire birthing experience, we will likely only have to pay one $20 co-payment! So it came down to choosing, not only with whom and where we wanted to have this baby, but we realized we also had to decide how. What was our childbirth "philosophy?" How did we feel about natural childbirth or pain medication or episiotomies or induction or what would happen to the baby in the moments after it was born? (Trust me, the list goes on and on...)

Interestingly, as we learned more some of our opinions solidified while others became more flexible. As any midwife, doctor or mother will tell you, when and how a baby is born seems really to be up to the baby. But within that necessary "wait and see what happens" range, we realised that if possible, we would like a natural birth experience, but that being our first child, we would also like the reassurance of the best medical expertise and equipment should anything from pain medication to a C-section or NICU III (neo-natal infant care unit level 3) be necessary.

We found a close-to-ideal solution in the University of California San Diego's Birth Center. The birth center is located within the UCSD Medical Center, which is the regional hospital for SD county. This means a homey, holistic birth center is on one floor, while state-of-the-art medical equipment and 17 of the US' top 100 doctors are on the next floor. The hospital is also only 2 miles from our house in the center of Hillcrest, perfect for visitors :-)

As long as we have an uncomplicated pregnancy, we will be able to deliver in one of the birth center's four birthing suites: big spacious rooms with tubs and showers and birthing balls, etc. to help with labor. The biggest benefit to the birth center in our eyes is the degree of control it provides for the mother (and father). We toured two other hospitals and they all had a fairly rigid set of policies and procedures regarding what would happen when you arrived at the hospital and throughout the birth, who could visit and when, who could be in the room during labor, what the husband was and wasn't allowed to do, etc. While touring both the regular labor and delivery suites and the birth center at UCSD, the staff made it clear that in the LDR (labor delivery and recover) area, you had to follow the rules. But if you wanted to make your own decisions, go to the birth center (BC).

While that sounds great to us, we do realize that there are a lot of scenarios where we may not have that choice, or where our options direct us away from the birth center. If our pregnancy has complications before the birth we won't be able to deliver at the BC. If our pregnancy has complications during birth, we will be transferred out of the BC, but our midwife will come with us, and assist the OB-GYN. If I decide I want an epidural (they do do injection pain meds in the BC if you want them), they need to move us out of the BC for increased monitoring, though again the midwife will continue to provide our care. And, (the one that worries me the most, as I feel I could rationalize the others) if the birth centre happens to be full we may have to deliver in LDR, though they will ask to move a woman who has already given birth out of a BC room into a special LDR post-recovery room if it will allow someone coming in to deliver in the BC.

The only "downside" to the birth center (besides possibly finding it full) is that we don't get to choose who delivers our baby. Eleven UCSD midwives work at the BC on 12hr shifts. This means that while I've been seeing the same 2-3 midwives for my prenatal care, I could have any of the 11 be there for the birth. Not that that is really that different for an OB-GYN. Your doctor could be away or sick and then you get a stranger. Or, even if he/she is around, they often only show up for the 30min-4hr pushing phase, and the rest of your 12+ hour care is done by nurses you've never met (not hacking nurses Mike, nurses are wonderful!). So, I think it's a compromise we're willing to make.

Most of all I like the midwifery philosophy that birth is a normal, natural process that our bodies know how to do. Sure things can go awry, and maybe they will, but I feel a lot less scared going in to 12-72hrs of unfamiliar discomfort/pain with someone reassuring me that my body can do this. Which reminds me, another bonus of the BC is that it has a volunteer doula program. A doula is a birth coach. She does not get involved with any of the medical side of things, but provides constant moral and logistical support for the mother and her support person/people (e.g. massage, encouragement, or going to get food for the dad so he doesn't have to leave the laboring woman). Equally importantly, she stays with you for the entire duration of the labor, no matter how long it takes (and I thought spending 3-5hrs at a hospital with a sexual assault survivor was an involved volunteer position!). You can hire a professional doula, but this is a great opportunity to have someone in addition to Brent, Mom and my personal masseuse (and wonderful sister) Lindsay on hand if needed, without an additional expense.

Ok, well I'm sure I could go on and on, but this post is getting novel-length! And the kiwi is hungry... a lunch of mac and cheeze (Annie's organic) and chocolate chip pancakes is sounding good!

xoxoxo
J,B &k

One of those days...

And now for something unrelated to the little Kiwi.

Yesterday I had one of those days. The days when you're up at the crack of dawn because your mind won't stay quiet long enough for you to drift back to the precious dreamland you are longing for, and by the time your head finally hits the pillow that night your exhaustion is manifesting as physical pain throughout your body. Yes, one of those days.

I have been busy for weeks now, but since last Monday it has really been non-stop. This weekend I tried to relax with some coworkers on Friday night, but then spent the entire weekend indoors (despite Brent leaving me to go enjoy the gorgeous 27/78 degree weather on the beach!) typing on my loaned computer. I had my second deadline yesterday, and as usual, it required evenings and weekends in addition to our M-F work week to complete. So I arrived yesterday morning at work, disappointed to learn that we had a meeting scheduled for the morning (the deadline is at the end of the day). Working through lunch I pushed to finish the last of the writing and begin editing.

In the middle of the afternoon, just as I was starting to make progress, in to our office burst the director of the MBA program (our big beautiful office [I'll post photos of our balcony and stunning view later] is upstairs in their larger set of offices, rather than downstairs with the IPJ staff). She was demanding to know if we had received visitors that afternoon. No, we don't often have visitors. Then out pours an incredible story of how three staff members have just been robbed while in the office! They had gone to a meeting in a small office at the front entrance but closed the door. The two work study students who normally sit at the front desk had both left for about 30min (sounds suspicious to me!). The thief had brazenly come in through the main door and proceeded to go into the various private offices, look under their desks, retrieve their purses, remove only the cash from their wallets, replace everything and then leave!

However, we do not think he got away undetected! One of the other Peace Writers and I were sitting at our desks at the time, with both of our office doors closed (we sit in a large communal office with two entrances). As we were working, the far door opened just a crack. We called out to the person to ask if we could help them. A man opened the door about 6 inches and quickly asked if "Leah" (or some short woman's name beginning with L) had passed by. We said no, no one had been in there. He quickly shut the door and left. Once we found out about the theft we asked the other staff about him. He had come right when the theft had occurred, no one with a name starting with L works at the MBA office, and no one recognized his description as anyone that should have been there. Also, the fact that he used our other door meant he had moved through the whole office before reaching that door, which is where most of the thefts occurred. So, Bianca and I have become number 1 witnesses! Unfortunately, after my experience with campus security following the theft of my laptop I have little to no faith that anything will be done about this, even though over $400 was stolen.

Following all that drama, I had to keep writing late and eat dinner at my desk. I was still at the office because that night my Woman Peace Maker, Sylvie, had her filming session. This is a three hour interview from 7-10pm conducted by our Exec Director, Dee, on camera. I was reluctant to stay for such a late night especially after a deadline, but I wanted to support Sylvie and I thought I would just be sitting in a plush chair watching the interview. How wrong I was! After make-up and prepping all the equipment, Dee started asking the first few questions. English is Sylvie's fourth or fifth language, and while she is understandable, she occasionally misuses words, and the flow is often halting as she searches for words she doesn't know. Completely understandable for all of us that have tried to learn other languages! But for the film crew, this was disturbing their search for eloquent, flowing sound bites. So they stopped and asked if we could try the same answer in French. None of them speak French so they began quizzing me on how it sounded - how was the content? Did it flow? Was it more articulate? Before I knew it, they had decided to conduct the whole interview in French! I was told to switch places with Dee and suddenly I was conducting the 3 HOUR interview IN FRENCH!!!

Needless to say, by the time Brent came to pick my up at 10pm my brain was a pile of french mush. There had also been some emotional parts to the interview, and at one point Sylvie had broken down. Nevertheless, after she composed herself, she decided that she wanted to continue for the remaining hour. All in all I think it was a good interview, but because of the language and time, I have already been told that they would like one and possibly two more interviews with her - and once again, I'll be conducting the interview, at night, in French!

By the time I got into bed last night I think my body was ready to sleep for a week. Is it really only Tuesday?! I'm seriously considering putting me head down on my desk for a 20min catnap!

Well, after all that 'feeling sorry for myself' I'm sure you'll be happy to just hear about the Kiwi again ;-)

Hope you're all well,
From a sleepy Jen & Kiwi (and Brenty too)

Growing

Greetings friends,

This has been a wonderful week. Sharing our pregnancy news has brought a flood of well wishes from friends and relatives in over half a dozen countries. While it certainly has its drawbacks, technology does have its advantages as well! We now have small established communities of friends and coworkers in San Diego, for which we are very grateful, but there's nothing like the familiar voices of friends and family that we are currently still far from. It's a nice reminder too that the well wishes aren't just for Brent and I, but that they represent a lot of people our baby will meet during her or his lifetime, and that these people are already wishing her (or him) health and love as she or he grows.

And speaking of growing... While in many ways I feel that we just started this crazy journey, supposedly I'm already down to the last two weeks of my first trimester. • According to the "experts" our baby is now 2 to 3 inches long (though they failed to give us a fruit analogy this week)! More importantly, it has graduated from being tadpole-esque to finally looking like a miniature person. The baby's face has formed, and it now has fingers, toes, toenails, and tooth buds, and its mouth can actually suck and swallow.

As for my growth, that's continuing as well! Apparently I won't "pop" (i.e. the bump that you can no longer suck in) for a few more weeks yet, but some rearranging of my organs and water retention has contributed to giving me a more rounded belly than I am used to! I already find myself gravitating towards my stretch or low rider jeans and longer, looser tops. I purchased a few maternity clothes items when my mom was here visiting, but I'm realizing that really, not much of my current wardrobe is going to fit me in a couple months!

Quite a few of you had asked about how I have been feeling (very sweet of you), with encouraging words that the morning sickness of the first trimester would soon end. Actually, I'm very relieved to report that I have not been sick once (knock on wood)! That's not to say I've been feeling fabulous the whole time, but luckily my queasiness has only been in relation to strong smells (such as the women I ride to work with's perfume), and some meals that suddenly seem completely unappetizing. Brent has taken to suggesting dinner, and then being wonderfully flexible with my humming and hawing until I figure out what my body is telling me I can/should eat.

The past couple of months has also involved a very steep learning curve to learn about what I should be putting on and in my body, and what I should be avoiding. These include the stricter rules about substances known to cause birth defects, but Brent and I are also trying to include the much larger list of "questionable" substances that are banned or discouraged due to studies and regulations in other countries.

So for those of you that are looking to get pregnant in the future, here's a glimpse of what you can choose to/not to alter:

Food - No booze, second-hand cigarette smoke, unpasteurized cheese (goat's cheese, many delicious soft cheeses, and all smelly cheese), sushi (unless cooked), deli meats (don't mind that one), caffeine, and even some herbal teas. I'm also cutting back on processed and packaged foods and trying to at least eat organic dairy (suppossedly the most important food group to go organic in, health-wise).

Beauty - In short, I had to scrap all my cleansers and creams. Some of this was doctor's warnings (Retinal, a vitamin A compound in anti-wrinkle products and some food is known to cause birth defects), and some was European studies suggesting a link between parabens and lauryl/laureth sulphates and cancer. Salicylic acid, an acne treatment found even in Aveda products is also a no-no for little embryos.
•
Exercise - I'm still trying to figure this one out. Many books/doctors seem to be advising slightly different things. Walking and swimming (at a lower intensity) seem to be encouraged all around. After that many folks suggest not engaging in impact activities (ie jumping up and down, running, racket ball) during weeks 6-10 especially, and possibly up to week 18, as there is an increase in the rate of miscarriage. Others say it's fine. Not wanting to take any chances, I've switched from running to walking for trimester 1 (and I'm trying to get to the pool), and then will get back into jogging (but only 2 miles at a time?!) for trimesters 2 and 3. Sit-ups and most other ab exercises seem to be off-limits due to having to lie on your back, or invert yourself in some way, both of which are supposedly bad for you (though I'm trying to figure out if this is only during later trimesters). I think I can still do the plank though...

Well I could go on for a while, but you get the idea. I'm sure there are a few women reading this going, what? I did such-and-such through my whole pregnancy! That seems to be the good part... babies seem to come out just fine 95% of the time, nearly regardless of what their parents partake in :-)

For now it's back to a weekend of work as I prepare for my second assignment deadline on Monday (procrastination from my job's increasing workload may bring about most of the blog entries over the next month). I hope you're all doing well, and thanks again for all your congratulatory e-mails, they've been so nice to read.

Anyone have a suggestion for a new 2-3 inch fruit analogy?

xoxo J,B & jumbo strawberry?

p.s. sorry we don't have any photos to post, most of our recent ones were lost when my laptop was stolen :-(

A 'little' announcement!

Hello everyone,

Well I think it is time to let you know the rest of the story of what has been going on for us these last few months.

It has to do with exhaustion...
A few extra calories...
A rapidly increasing bra size...
Not being able to eat many of my favorite foods...
And a big Birthday week (or two) at the end of April...

Yes, we're PREGNANT!!!!

Brent and I are over the moon. So for the next 30-odd weeks you will be able to read about this exciting, strange (and likely, at times, scary) journey as I go from Jen-size to whale-size, and Brent and I prepare to make that no-turning-back transition to having a child. (Don't worry, for those of you who are sick of everyone having babies left, right and centre, there will still be interspersed news of the rest of our lives as well)

We decided to let you all know now because we just had our first ultrasound. I had my first prenatal appointment last Friday, and rather than giving us the comforting reassurance we hoped it would, a smaller uterus size, low position, and undetectable heartbeat combined with a slight decrease in my (fortunately) negligible symptoms, to create some suddenly scary looking bogeymen where previously we'd seen pink and blue visions of cherub faces.

While it made for a very anxious weekend, the midwife on call insisted that to ally my worries, we should go in again this week and have an ultrasound rather than waiting the 2.5 weeks until my first one was scheduled. So with much trepidation (and a weekend of feeling like my skin was no longer breaking out, my breasts were shrinking and my food aversions were dissipating), we went to the clinic today and were greeted instead by the most amazing dark, fuzzy, black and white image we have ever laid eyes on.



Our baby was indeed there, looking much larger than I had anticipated, with a fluttering healthy, strong heart. While we watched she (or he) began to move, and even started showing off her (or his) kicking abilities while Brent and I gazed with true parental (dumb-struck) love. The midwife (a wonderful man who has been practicing for 26 years) quickly printed us a clandestine image, then at Brent's request, switched the ultrasound machine for a Doppler, to listen to the baby's heart. After a few minutes of searching, it was found up near my bellybutton, a loud, clear and rapid tum-tum-tum-tum... going at 180 beats a minute (scary to hear what my heart would sound like after an all-out sprint).

Our baby did not feel inclined to lay flat, however, so the midwife was not able to get an image where he could measure the length completely, and therefore let us know the baby's actual gestational age. It seems that the smaller uterus and position may be due to a slightly "younger" baby than we thought - perhaps by up to 5 days. Our original due date was, ironically, April 27! Smack in between Brent's and my Birthdays! So after we have our next ultrasound, we will hopefully be able to have an accurate due date (give or take the standard 2 weeks of when the baby will hopefully decide to make her/his appearance).

Well, there's lots more to say about this crazy process we've embarked on, but we have around 30 more weeks to bore you with all of that, so for now, baby, Brent and I need to have some breakfast and get to work.

Love to you all, and thanks for sharing our news and putting up with our excited parent-to-be ramblings :-)

Jen, Brent and the strawberry (baby websites' current size-metaphor)

The crazy month of September and some good news!

It has been a crazy few weeks full of fun, but I am totally tuckered out and it's all just beginning!

First there was our trip to VT for a long Labour Day weekend to celebrate Brent's grandfather's 90th birthday with many of his extended family who I had never met and he hadn't seen in ages. There were family dinners, lunches and brunches, poolside BBQs, housework and backyard camping complete with smores, farmer's markets and birthday cake. What more could you ask for the last weekend of summer?

Then we returned to a flurry of activity -Brent returned to the busiest month in the US resettlement calendar, I started my new job at the International Peace and Justice Institute (IPJ), and my sister Lindsay arrived for a visit, all on the same day!

The weeks since then have been a blur of ups and downs - it was wonderful to have Lindsay here before she embarked on her long-awaited trip to do a pilgramidge hike from Leon to Santiago de Compostella in Spain. Then it was an equally wonderful surprise to have my mom come back for a week to see us before she and Dad head to England for the year. And I have been absolutely thrilled with my job at IPJ - my woman PeaceMaker is even more impressive in person than she was in theory. A lot of my life currently involves writing about her, so while I intend to tell you more about her, now is not yet the time to do so. To give you a glimpse: my days at IPJ generally involve 2 hours of interviewing Sylvie in the mornings, then returning to our beautiful office overlooking San Diego and the ocean and transcribing the interview for up to 4 hours. Then if there is any time left at the end of the day, I can start preparing my writing assignments on the DRC conflict and extracting stories to write from Sylvie's life and work. So it's fun and challenging but also incredibly exhausting. The staff and team I am working with are fantastic though. I'm still a bit shocked at how well the PeaceMakers and the Peace Writers are all getting along with eachother, with their partners, and as a larger team.

The IPJ is also keeping our lives interesting with other events - fancy lunches, city tours on double-decker busses, and then currently, our participation in the IPJ's annual international human rights conference, for which we also have access to the VIP events! Last night for example, we got to go to a private session and a catered dinner with Louise Arbour, the (Canadian) former UN High Commissioner for Human Rights! In fact, this entire conference is made up of super-human women who make terms like "inspirational" and "courageous" sound hollow and overused. Many of them are championing the unthinkable against incredible odds, which makes the progress they have acheived even more astounding. Tonight we watched a private viewing of the film, Pray the Devil Back to Hell. It has not yet been released, and only a couple of months ago it won the top Tribeca Film Festival award. Please, please see it if you can! It is about the women's peace movement that effectively moved Liberia from a state of civil war to peace, and then on to elect Africa's first woman head of state. The leader of the movement is at the conference, and discussions with her in person demonstrated how she could be such an incredible force for change in the Liberian situation.

Unfortunately with so much going on it can also be challenging... Brent has been working very very hard as IRC struggles with a huge influx of last minute arrivals before the end of the fiscal year at the end of the month. He has also been faced with some difficult individual cases of refugees arriving in the US suffering from acute and at times, emergent medical conditions which have required nearly 24-hr care. His case managers are doing amazing work, but they are really overstretched. Hopefully things will calm down for him a bit in October, though with the upcoming US elections and a change in funding policy, he doesn't know yet if things will actually slow down or not.

Then I had the huge disappointment of having my laptop (my Christmas/graduation present last year from my folks, Brent's folks and Brent) stolen from work out of our LOCKED office! In addition to the monetary and functional worth of my computer, I was most hurt by the loss of all of my photos and documents that I will not be able to get back. All of our photos from the last 9 months were on that computer, so I am afraid it will be a while before I post any. Anyway, there is nothing I can do about it now. The IPJ has been incredibly supportive (even if the University of San Diego's attitude was "oh this happens all the time", and so they are doing nothing to retrieve it or to try to prevent these apparently rampant thefts from occuring) and are working hard to get me a stipend to replace my laptop asap.

Though we do have some good news to end with... today I got notice of my immigration interview! YAY! So, please everyone cross your fingers for Brent and I on November 6 at 10am west coast time. The interview itself will likely be quite rigerous, but once it is finished I will know one way or another whether or not I can stay!

I'll try to write again more frequently than I have been for the last month!

Hope everyone is doing well, wherever you may be.

Jen

Dave

Last week a coworker mentioned she was going to a Dave Matthews Band (DMB) concert next Friday. I gasped, Dave? Here? Next week? Oh, well it must be looong sold out by now, and we don't have the money to blow on tickets. Au contraire! Tickets, she informed me, were still available by the plenty on Craigslist and strangely, even cheaper than their original cost. So, in typically shady fashion, we met a guy on a street corner that night and the deal was done.

Then came the concert. The stadium was hidden in a desert valley with suburbia ringing us on the hills above. We had invested in the cheapo lawn seats of course, so you can imagine our surprise when an official came up and asked us if we'd like to exchange our tickets for seats below! We agreed, and found our new seats, about 5 feet in front of the lawn from whence we'd come! A little disappointed, we spotted 3-4 rows of empty seats in the middle of the arena and made our way there. The opening act played, and then there was the customary 45min of twiddling thumbs waiting for the main act to get out of their dressing rooms. Suddenly the seats around us began to fill up - quickly! Before long the only seats free in our section were the three beside ours. Then as I sat crossing my fingers and toes that no one else would approach, a couple started making their way down our isle. And since there were no seats to the right of us, we had a suspicion that they were eyeing ours! As they stooped down to count the seats approaching ours, I starting picking up my things, sure that we were headed back to our original seats (now long taken by others)... then as they looked up at us and the guy began to mouth the words "I think we have those..." the lights miraculously shut off and Dave's guitar rang out in a long loud riff causing the crowd to erupt in cheers, and our dethroners to abandon their claim to our seats and take the ones beside ours. There was not a free seat around. The rest of the concert proceeded in Dave's usual fabulous style, complete with guest guitarist Tim Reynolds.

(sorry, I have no photos for this post as cameras, drinks, food and other necessities were banned from the arena in the hopes that you would fork over the millions of dollars that the stadium wanted you to pay to purchase them inside)

The secret to SoCal seclusion

Another hectic week gone by as Brent and I tackle our various workloads at IRC.


Mine is particularly hectic at the moment as I'm down to my last week at the organisation and only finished my last focus group today! I'm 70% done my data analysis for the interviews I conducted, I haven't even started the data analysis of the focus groups and haven't written so much as an outline for the final report I'd like to write (did I mention I only have 7 days left?)! Nevertheless, my efforts seem to be getting noticed as my supervisor talks with increasing frequency of getting me back at IRC when I'm done at IPJ. The most promising of these plans is to have me head up a domestic violence prevention program at IRC, which would be fantastic (provided of course, that we could get funding... I sense more volunteer grant writing as a precursor!). And since there are no guarantees about my dream job at IPJ materialising soon after I finish my Peace Writer position, IRC could be a good place to work in the interim.


Brent on the other hand is well into the refugee assistance agencies' busiest time of year! To top off a ridiculous work load his case managers have been falling sick, requesting time off (especially our Muslim coworkers who would all like to be off for some or most of Ramadan next month), volunteers are leaving to go back to school, and there's some staff shifting, which has had him interviewing internal candidates- always a hard job. He also has a speech to prepare for a statewide resettlement conference in LA on the relatively obscure Bhutanese refugees, a group that his IRC office doesn't even serve! A task that he is understandably nervous about undertaking.


So, this past weekend we decided to give ourselves a mini-break before we can escape this mayhem for the tranquility of Vermont next week. We decided on a 5 mile hike in Torrey Pines state park. What we hadn't factored in was the bane of San Diego's scenic outings- people. And where there are people in SoCal, there are cars. Lots and lots of cars! The parking lots were full. The overflow parking lots were full. The sides of the road were blocked off as no-parking. After circling full lots, getting stuck in the gridlock of everyone else looking for parking spots, and turning back and forth looking for parking lots/roads/or a free ditch on divided highways, we said to heck with it and started heading back. Then we saw a little turnoff that said "glider port" and a huge, almost empty PARKING LOT! We made the turn and found ourselves on a 300ft cliff over the Pacific ocean. At first we were distracted by the paragliders suspended a few meters from us, but at the bottom of the cliffs lay the real treasure - a beautifully secluded, relatively unpopulated, pristine, sandy beach!


The next obstacle was how to scale the cliffs down to the grail below. After nearly venturing down the horizontal cliff, we asked some paragliders and were directed to the slightly less treacherous (but nevertheless cordoned off) eroding, switchback path. We made our way down the 300 ft decent, thinking this must be the key to keeping a beach semi-private in San Diego. As we finally reached the sand, however, we realised there was another factor drawing people away from or to, Black's beach: a relatively prevalent disregard for clothing.



From 2yrs to 82yrs, frolickers sunbathed, swam, surfed or strolled; a few in suits but most in their birthday suits (nothing in between it seemed). Unfortunately, while the beach had a few hundred beach bums (excuse the pun - it was Brent's), we only saw 4 women. There might have been more down the more populated "gay" end of the beach, but where we plunked our towel it was mainly us and a lot of 40-80yr old men. I have to say though, spending an afternoon around nudity makes you remember that the human body is a very natural thing, and it was nice to see so many people comfortable in their skin.



I tried to snap some photos, but it took 4 hours for me to get a shot that didn't catch any bare bottoms (or any other bits), so as to not give the subjects of my photo the wrong idea.




Hope you're all well. Brent and I are really looking forward to seeing many of you in Vermont next week, though I'm still sad that I'm not able to see all my friends who are home in Victoria at the moment. At least Lindsay (and maybe mom?) will be coming to see us when we get back! In the meantime, we've got a Dave Matthews concert on Friday night, and our 4 year anniversary together tomorrow to celebrate.















Thinking of you all,

Jen and Brent

Close encounters of the shark kind

A few days before we left for San Diego there was a shark attack reported off the SoCal coast (there are more great white attacks off the Cali coast than anywhere else on earth - 70+ over the last 5 decades, compared to around 40 off Australia and South Africa - however, the majority of these occur in a triangle from just north of San Fransisco to Monterrey and are not deadly- the sharks are just "curious" apparently... [most] humans don't have enough fat to be worth eating. Unfortunately, this attack was fatal). As soon as my parents heard they immediately banned us from swimming, surfing, or walking within 20ft of the ocean in our new home. Luckily, by the time they came to visit and saw that the ocean here is as beautiful and rejuvenating as anywhere else, their staunch opposition faded to a more reasonable level of general parental warning.

So, I hope they will read this post till the end before phoning us in a panic asking if we're in one piece, or booking the next emergency flight south.

Yesterday Brent and I got to swim with Leopard sharks. We had bought some snorkeling gear Friday night as our attempt at snorkeling last weekend had been thwarted by a lack of available rentals in La Jolla. La Jolla cove (pictured right) is a tiny cove in San Diego's swankiest neighbourhood, and part of a protected marine park, making it a prime snorkeling destination - hopefully now a regular pastime of ours.

We set off early yesterday morning to make it there in time to snag the most valuable resource of all - a parking spot. As soon as we got into the crowded cove, we could see why it was so popular. At shin-deep there were already schools of tropical fish - iridescent striped, fluorescent orange and silver-blue with bright aquamarine "eyes" on their tales. We swam out to get away from the crowd, but the visibility got worse and the fish disappeared. We kept swimming deeper, along the steep cliffs where pelicans seem to spend the day, hoping to find a more remote cove to explore. However, when we saw a group of young seals on the shore a few meters away I decided we should give them some room, remembering the aggressive warnings of the massive sea-lions off Trial Island when our kayaks would venture too close to the moms and pups. I was not in the mood to encounter a 500lb over-protective papa seal ramming us in the water!

We were crossing the large bay in I-don't-want-to-imagine-how-deep water, and were just about to turn back when an old man swimming towards us stopped to ask if we were strong swimmers. Um, generally speaking, sure...? He recommended we keep swimming the remaining 3/4 of a mile across the bay to the shallow shores in front of a swanky restaurant where a once a year phenomenon had arrived early - hundreds of Leopard sharks had arrived in the bay for who-knows-what. They are 4-5 ft long and harmless to humans, so a real diving/snorkeling treat. So, we hunkered down and started a looong front crawl through big swells trying to keep our heads up to watch for big seaweed beds and the throngs of inexperienced recreational kayakers transversing the bay.
As we finally approached the opposite shore, it struck us that at some point soon we would have to put our heads back in the water, and that we would likely come face to face with a shark. This of course was a bad time to realise we were terrified of what we had come all this way to see. So, we tried to calm ourselves, stay steady in the now crashing waves and look down into the shallow water. The visibility was still poor, but as the water was only about 6ft deep we could see the bottom clearly. It only took us a second before a large brown-black mottled shape snaked underneath us. Then another...and another. Coming three or four at a time, the 4-5ft long sharks would swim deftly along the bottom, only occasionally rolling over to reveal their silver-white bellies. They took no notice of us as long as we stayed still. However, this meant going with the rise and fall of the huge swells above, which brought us from our birds-eye view of the Leopard sharks, to descend rapidly to within a foot of rubbing our bellies on their dorsal fins!

After we'd had our voyeur's fill, the chilly water and proximity to noon convinced us to get out and walk the mile back to the cove rather than turn around and repeat the swim. Walking in a bikini (me), swim trunks (B), barefoot and carrying snorkeling gear, alongside La Jolla's exclusive, multi-million dollar real estate and highways turned out to be a bit of a sight for the locals. Though they were often more interested in from where we'd appeared than how we were attired.

Well that's all for me. Another weekend has flown by with too-little rest, and the Sunday night bustle of getting lunches and gym bags ready for 5:45am is already upon us.

Hope you're all well, and for those of you (Erika, Aiden, Tim? and Cat) who are heading to Victoria for a bit this month, I wish I was there to see you.

Buenos noches,

Jen

p.s. this photo shows you the bay we swam across. The cove is out of the frame in the lower right side of the photo, and the sharks were along the shore by the buildings in the upper left part of the photo.