Working girl

It's 7pm and I'm trying to stay awake...

Today I put in my first day at IRC. Now I can see why Brent comes home exhausted every day, and I was only there for 4.5 hrs! All that big talk I did about not being able to sit around and do nothing for three months is suddenly sounding hollow... a day flopped out on the computer, reading and watching baby births on Discovery Health is looking pretty good right about now.

Seriously, it's not that bad. I got to meet the program team that I'll be working with, and the Program Coordinator instructed everyone to write out their schedules for the week and give me and her a copy so that we could make the "best use of my time with them". How flattering. However, every time I was introduced, people would ask what I was there doing, etc. then after my answer, and a moment of silence, someone would inevitably add, "and she's Brent's wife." I would have to agree, and my cover for future "so, what do you think of the new guy?" investigations was blown.

We have been dying to have a steady, "normal" working routine for what seems like years now, but as many warned us, the reality is a little less glamorous than we had imagined. Up at 6am, to the gym or a run by 6:30, to the bus stop by 7:45, at work by 8:15am, work through lunch, then home by 6:15, make and eat dinner and we're ready for bed before 8pm! I know this isn't a "hard" schedule compared to many people, so could someone tell me why we are so beat? Maybe everyone's this beat and they just hide it better...

At least we have weekends!

This past weekend we went out to a cocktail hour with friends on a rooftop restaurant in Bankers Hill, bordering Hillcrest. The outdoor roof was packed. It was a near-exclusively gay event, and I was one of about 4 women in the whole crowd. While the company was great and the view over San Diego to the ocean was stunning as the sun set, the highlight of my night was walking down the 7 flights of stairs with a couple behind me that started commenting on my figure. Hey, you've still got it if you can get "hit on" by gay guys...!

I was hoping to be signing off in Spanish tonight, but unfortunately my Spanish lessons were postponed again, and so I've switched to an intensive month-long course which will be 5 mornings a week starting next week. Spanish in the mornings, IRC in the afternoons. However, after getting my feet wet this week, I will likely take some time off from IRC next week for my parent's visit. Speaking of which, they started their drive down here today - yay!

Ok, it's now 9pm... I think I can justify heading to bed now. Good night from sweltering southern California,

J & B

Ray at Night and my TV addiction

Sorry everyone, still me! Brent has been snowed under with work lately, including having to go in this past weekend to try to get caught up on the towering pile on his desk that welcomed him back from Phoenix. I, on the other hand, am sitting at my desk drinking an iced coffee, trying not to move my legs, thereby preventing the shooting pains that are afflicting my quads, hamstrings, glutes and calves. I seem to have gone a little overboard at the gym on Monday and my muscles are making sure I will never forget it!

I've been quiet for a few days because I haven't had too much to report. We had a great weekend, hitting up one of the best vegetarian restaurants I've ever tasted with friends, and making our usual tour of the farmer's market for our weekly produce and coconut pancake fix (a 25 cent treat we save up our spare change for every week). Then on Saturday night we tried out the neighbourhood bordering Hillcrest (North Park)'s arts scene. On the second Saturday of every month downtown North Park celebrates Ray at Night - an art gallery walk along two gallery-lined streets, complete with live outdoor bands, and cheap wine and free snacks in all the galleries. However, in contrast to the Brattleboro Gallery Walk's family atmosphere, Ray at Night definitely caters to a more eclectic crowd... for example, on doing our rounds, Brent and I followed the general door-to-door movement of the crowd, and entered a large gallery beside one of the playing bands. Looking around, we tried to discern what type of gallery it was - Asian? An art school? Sculpture? Modern? There were sculpture-ish looking things on shelves... items for sale... dog collars? Wait a minute... is that a...? Turns out a large Adult Erotica store was also open for viewing!

The week has progressed with lots of work for Brent, and as yet, no work for me. For the first time in years I've become a frequent viewer of the "one-eyed Monster" (B's reference to the TV), and have probably seen more infomercials, heard more jingles, and definitely learned about and seen more births, medical procedures, international adoptions and dog training than I ever thought I could in a 3-day period!

Needless to say, Brent is looking forward to me getting back to work and away from Discovery Health! I was finally able to get a hold of the woman I'm supposed to be working with at IRC, and so we'll be meeting tomorrow to discuss my role there. Next week looks virtually TV-free - in addition to IRC, on Monday my Spanish lessons will finally begin, and mid week we're ecstatic about welcoming our first visitors - my parents! YAY! Stay tuned to hear about all the fun we get up to with them. Really, I'm most excited about having the use of a car for a while! Joking :-)

Hope you all are doing well. Please continue to send us your news via e-mail, and for those we haven't heard from, what's going on?

Till next time!

J&B

Home sweet California

Stepping out of San Diego's small, familiar airport (3 visits in a month = familiar) and into the warm early evening with Brent and two colleagues yesterday, we all chimed how great it was to be back in San Diego! We had just returned from 4 days in Phoenix, Arizona, the site of IRC's Case Management Training workshop. Brent went along as a supervisor, with two of his caseworkers - Amina and Wafa - whose turn it was to attend this year. His three other case managers went last year, and so they stayed to man the office.

Unfortunately all I can tell you about in Phoenix are the freeways, our hotel, and passing views of suburbia and strip malls. There are undoubtedly nicer parts of the city (there have to be!), but a combination of the sprawl and the incapacitating heat kept me sequestered in the hotel for most of our visit. Luckily, as you can see from the photos, it had a nice pool as a respite from the stifling 40/105 (C/F) temperatures.

One of my few outings was a trip to replenish my sunscreen. I asked the hotel's front desk if the complimentary shuttle could take me to a drug store in the vicinity of the hotel. "Sure," she said, "there is a Wallgreens (drug store) or a Wal-Mart." Definitely Wallgreens! But by the time they tracked down a driver willing to take me, the only person they could find was a new girl from Hawaii. As we pulled out of the hotel parking lot she said "Wal-Mart, right?" Um, actually I had requested Wallgreens, is that ok? She hummed and hawed, before admitting that she didn't know where the Wallgreens was! She reassured me that the Wal-Mart was just a couple blocks away. Would the reduced carbon emissions of not searching aimlessly in a huge van be worth supporting the exploitation of workers in free trade zones overseas? I wanted to resist, but it looked like I was stuck between patronizing the evil Mega-Giant or skin cancer.

I think it's been at least 5-7yrs since I've stepped foot in a Wal-Mart. Now I have been to other box stores since, and I tried to reassure myself that it couldn't be that much worse, but it was. The shuttle delay meant that it was now around 2pm; I'd missed lunch and was ravenous. I stood in the doorway staring out at a warehouse of cheap, mass-produced goods. To my right was an in-store McDonalds churning out the aroma of french fries and Big Macs. I haven't been in one of those for nearly a decade either, and certainly wasn't about to break two ethical standards at once! To my left was Wal-Mart's version of a deli. These were the only options for lunch that I was going to get, as there were no other commercial stores in sight (welcome to suburbia). I spent nearly 20 minutes walking up and down the deli counter and scouring pre-made items on the shelves for something remotely vegetarian (let alone healthy). Nothing. I kid you not. Even the salads were piled with either ham, chicken or both. Every sandwich's primary ingredient was meat. In the end I resorted to a $1.98 pre-made Tuna Fish sandwich (filled with more mayo than tuna), some overpriced apples (yes, everything in Wal-Mart is cheap - except the healthy food), and some baby carrots. After tasting the sandwich, my lunch consisted mainly of carrots and apples. I started up the behemoth aisles looking for something like skin care, got scared and came back. How to navigate this place? Finally, I edged along by the cash registers until I saw the glint of fluorescent lights off a plastic beach ball. I made a b-line for the beach accessories and grabbed my precious sunscreen. My bill came to $25, of which $20 was probably the carrots and apples. Ok, I'm joking. But looking around that place really did make me consider whether the physiological ill-health of a portion of the North American people (yes Canada, we have them too) could be placed at Wal-Mart's door. I know their unquestionably low prices have become a necessity for those living near or in poverty, but for the rest of us - is it really worth supporting that place (or those like it -something I'm still working to adhere to) to save a few dollars? Pick an issue - human health, environmental health, or ethically-produced products and regardless of what their spin doctors say, Wal-Mart is evil.

As I was navigating the epitome of capitalist greed, Brent was busy at the conference - meetings all day and networking at night. We got to meet (and even have dinner and drinks with) some of the national Directors in IRC, and even get away for a romantic anniversary dinner at a funky New Orleans-inspired seafood restaurant. I think Brent came away from the conference exhausted, but also with a few new ideas that he now has to find the time and resources to implement.

I am also finally starting to get my hands full, and may soon be switching from being commitment-less to having as much work as I can handle. My Spanish lessons have been postponed, but will be twice a week, starting the 23. I will likely be starting my volunteer monitoring and evaluation project at IRC next week, and I have been in contact with another group that does gender-based violence work specifically with immigrants and refugees that I'm looking forward to being part of. So much for my days of domestic work and periodic relaxation!

However, just because I'll be busy doesn't mean we don't still want visitors!

Talk to you all soon,

Jen

p.s. Sorry if I offended any Wal-Mart lovers. I'm sure it has its pros, and as far as environmental and ethical consumerism go: 1) we flew to Phoenix, 2) I enjoyed a pool in the desert, and 3) getting seafood in a landlocked state had to have consequences, so don't think I'm polishing my halo over here. But we try, and if posts like this make me and one other person reconsider how we want to impact other people and the earth by our consumerism and lifestyle, then it's worth it.

p.p.s Thanks "Isley" and others who've commented on here, or written e-mails to let us know you're reading (and enjoying) our news. Brent's still trying to find time to write on here, so soon you should have a brief reprieve from my rambling ;-)

Happy Anniversary to us!

Two years ago today at this moment I was in bathroom with Lindsay and a group of cherished girlfriends, trying to get curls to stay in my quickly deflating hair, having my toenails painted on a whim, and looking around frantically for the special makeup that I had bought for the occasion (which was finally found after the ceremony). That little bathroom had become a humid, buzzing world of its own; I was anxious and excited, and had lost all sense of time.

One hundred and fifty of our closest friends and family had come from all the corners of the globe, and were now waiting somewhat patiently on a fragrant spring lawn for a delayed ferry and a very fashionably late bride. Brent was out with the guests, having photos taken with his cousins, and silently wondering where the heck I was.

And then someone - probably my mother, who was really running the entire show - came to remind me that it was getting late. I don't remember anyone having mentioned the time before, so I quickly finished up and worked up the courage to go to the glass-cordoned veranda, where I was to wait in a frantic mix of flowers, bridal party, and the electric anticipation of people's hope, love and best wishes for an entire lifetime. And then the music began, and slowly, the flower girls, ring bearers and bride's maid began their procession, one by one. And then it was my turn; with my parents on both sides, I walked out into the sunshine and saw Brent across the lawn, standing by a white-washed gate. It is amazing to have happiness wash over your whole body. From the inside, like butterflies; in a release of tears you can't hold in; in a smile that is too big for you to control - involuntarily telling the world that every fiber in your body is shouting for joy.

It is no exaggeration to say that it was the most wonderful day of our lives. As soon as the ceremony was over, we both said wanted to go back and do it all over again. It was the combination of pledging ourselves to the person we knew we were meant to be with, and the feeling of support from having so many people we love surrounding us on that day. Brent and I frequently talk about our unpaid gratitude to everyone who made it to Clam Bay for our wedding. For people to come, from near and far and even the other side of the world, for three days on a not-too-easy-to-reach island to celebrate our union was the best life-gift we could imagine. We keep trying to scheme up ways to have it repeated someday... or at least to let people know how much their presence meant to us.

Finally, no tribute to our nuptials would be complete without recognising the incredible kindness and generosity of dozens of people who chipped in, to help or contribute to the festivities in some way over the three days at Clam Bay (and for members of our family who were helping with the preparations for months in advance). The entire celebration was a labour of love by so many that it would take a small novel to thank everyone.

Today is actually Brent and my first wedding anniversary together, as last year we were separated by two continents and an ocean. He is at an IRC training conference all day and only got 3 hours of sleep last night due to a neighbouring hotel guest that decided to keep their TV on all night long, but we're hoping to go for a nice dinner alone tonight. We're staying at a hotel in strip-mallville though, so finding an independent place with some original ambiance might be a bit of a challenge... wish us luck!

Lots of love to all of you, and thanks again to those of you who helped make this day two years ago so wonderful.

J&B

The Canasta Club

Sore throat, plugged sinuses, and a head that feels like a watermelon being swung around from the end of a rope that someone is about to launch in a trajectory over a very high wall. But misses, and hits the wall - smack.

For once I'm not talking about Brent. This time it's me that couldn't hold the cold bug at bay.

But, it allows me a decent excuse to postpone finishing a particularly long application, and write to all of you!

I guess I really have last night to thank. I was starting to come down with something, but rather than staying in, having some hot soup and an early night with my hubby, Brent and I succumbed to the attraction of a rare social event, and the promise of meeting new people. Moving to a new place, these opportunities cannot afford to be passed-by for long, as after a while they may stop coming!

So we walked a block or two to a friend of a friend's sister's house, met her and her Guatemalan boyfriend and we were soon off to meet Javier's step-mother (the host), and their gang of friends for an evening of food, drink, and a bit of...card playing? Ok, I was thinking poker, or maybe blackjack... something I may not know how to play, but really should. We arrived at a cute bungalow in the neighbourhood of Kensington (the name says it all). A delicious dinner of fresh tortillas, salad and fixin's was provided, along with a fridge full of cold beer, wine and other assorted alcohols. There were eight of us in total - most of the group were architects, and we hailed from Canada, Guatemala, the Dominican, Mexico, and the US. We arrived at 7, and even during the delicious meal, it was apparent that people were antsy to get on with the game. It was then that we were informed that this was a gang of true-blue, die-hard, born-again fans of ... CANASTA! (they actually admitted to withholding the name of the game in case we thought they were a group of little old ladies)

Though I don't know that many grannies could have put up with the fervor of that game! There was shouting and cursing and begging and threats and even a little karaoke! It was a blast, and despite feeling under the weather, I had a great time. However, for die-hard Canasta fans, time is inconsequential. One of the players had just finished her final architecture exams and her thesis was due in a week - but miss Thursday night Canasta? Never! Brent's eyes began drooping around 11pm, and my throat began to require pain-killing lozenges at 5 min intervals, but still the game went on. Finally, as I was willing the Brent's team to cross the 5,000 pt threshold to reunite me with my bed, my team got two Canasta's to win the game. It was 12:40am. We had been playing Canasta for nearly 5 hours! We stumbled in our door around 1am unsure whether we will ever have the strength to play cards again. But next Thursday - same time, same place? Sure!

In other news, yesterday was also my orientation to volunteer with IRC. I'm going to be working with the Program Manager for two gender-focused programming areas doing monitoring and evaluation. I think it will be a good fit, and she seemed happy to have my help, which is nice. I will have to be careful that between IRC and the other NGOs I've been contacting that I don't suddenly have more work than I can handle, but for the time being, this is what I was hoping for.

Well, I think I've procrastinated on my application long enough. This weekend we're heading to one of SD's beach communities with our friends Jan and Don (they claim that there's a cute spot with $6 pitchers to wile away a sunny Saturday afternoon). Then on Monday we're off to Phoenix, Arizona for a conference/training Brent is attending. I will be busy monitoring and evaluating the hotel's pool-side lounge chairs.

Until next time!
Jen